Cosa Salverà gli Uomini dal Suicidio? – Parte IX

Cosa Salverà gli Uomini dal Suicidio? – Parte IX

Suicidio

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Collocamento dei Figli e Casa Coniugale

Secondo Kposowa (2003): “[g]li uomini divorziati avevano una probabilità di suicidio otto volte maggiore rispetto alle donne divorziate (RR = 8,36, 95% CI = 4,24-16,38).

Dopo aver preso in considerazione altri fattori che sono stati segnalati per contribuire al suicidio, gli uomini divorziati hanno ancora un rischio di suicidio molto più elevato rispetto alle donne divorziate.

Avevano quasi 9,7 volte più probabilità di uccidersi rispetto alle donne divorziate comparabili (RR = 9,68, 95% CI = 4,87-19,22).

In altre parole, per ogni donna divorziata che si è suicidata, più di nove uomini divorziati si sono uccisi.”

Perché gli uomini divorziati e separati si suicidano così tanto più spesso rispetto alle donne divorziate e separate?

Perché, sempre secondo Kposowa, nella giurisdizione internazionale “sembra esserci un presupposto implicito secondo il quale il legame tra una donna e i suoi figli sarebbe più forte di quello tra un uomo e i suoi figli. Di conseguenza, in un accordo di divorzio, è più probabile che la custodia dei figli venga affidata alla moglie. Alla fine, il padre perde non solo il suo matrimonio, ma anche i suoi figli. Il risultato può essere la rabbia nei confronti del sistema giudiziario, soprattutto nelle situazioni in cui il marito si sente tradito perché è stata la moglie a iniziare il divorzio, o perché il tribunale ha praticamente regalato all’ex moglie tutto ciò che prima era di proprietà dell’ex marito o del nucleo familiare ormai defunto. Gli eventi potrebbero trasformarsi in risentimento (verso il coniuge e “il sistema”), amarezza, ansia e depressione, riduzione dell’autostima e senso di “vita non degna di essere vissuta”.

Poiché la depressione e la cattiva salute mentale sono noti marcatori del rischio di suicidio, è possibile che una delle ragioni fondamentali dell’associazione osservata tra divorzio e suicidio negli uomini sia l’impatto degli “accordi” successivi al divorzio (sanciti dal tribunale)”.

Infatti l’uomo, oltre a perdere l’accesso ai figli, diventando genitore non-collocatario, perde spesso la casa di proprietà, da lui stesso acquistata, perché per il – finto, come vedremo tra poco – “superiore bene del minore” viene assegnata al genitore collocatario.

Anche in assenza di un assegno di mantenimento alla ex coniuge o ai figli (che comunque viene spesso obbligato a dare), che implica una detrazione notevole del proprio stipendio, il dover continuare a pagare ad esempio il mutuo di una casa di proprietà (o di cui è co-proprietario o co-usufruttuario) in cui non si può abitare e dover al tempo stesso sostenere il costo di un affitto per avere un letto su cui dormire, è una situazione invivibile che molto spesso costringe un padre separato o divorziato alla povertà economica, a dormire in macchina o per per strada o, – come abbiamo visto – al suicidio.Sebbene sulla carta sia economicamente il “coniuge più forte” considerando lo stipendio iniziale, un uomo che deve sostenere tutte queste spese si ritrova a fine mese ad avere molto meno denaro reale del coniuge de jure “economicamente più debole”.

Un’alternativa a questo sistema è la Residenza Alternata, un sistema che è stato dimostrato come superiore anche nel benessere del bambino.

Difatti un’importante meta-analisi del 2014 (Nielsen, 2014), che riassume i 40 studi che hanno confrontato i bambini nelle famiglie con collocamento condiviso o residenza alternata (shared physical custody) rispetto ai bambini nelle famiglie con collocamento presso la madre negli ultimi 25 anni, ha evidenziato che, “[n]el complesso, i bambini delle famiglie con genitorialità condivisa hanno ottenuto risultati migliori per quanto riguarda le misure di benessere emotivo, comportamentale e psicologico, oltre a una migliore salute fisica e a migliori relazioni con i padri e le madri, benefici che si sono mantenuti anche in presenza di alti livelli di conflitto tra i genitori”.

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Autore/i dell’articolo

Dott. Alberto Infante
  • Dottore in Psicologia
  • Redattore Volontario per la ONLUS Il Vaso di Pandora - La Speranza dopo il Trauma
  • Content Creator per l'Istituto Beck

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